


Castiel's Confession: How It Really Happened

by LivingJoke



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Canon, Denial, Despair, Fix-It, Hopeful Ending, M/M, One Shot, Short & Sweet, the empty does not get Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28399068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LivingJoke/pseuds/LivingJoke
Summary: This is how it went down and I refuse to believe otherwise
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 19





	Castiel's Confession: How It Really Happened

“I’m sorry,” Dean said

“Wait. There is…,” Cas began, “There’s one thing she’s afraid of. There’s… there’s one thing strong enough to stop her.”

Realization dawned on Castiel’s face. As if everything that had ever confused or mystified him had suddenly become clear as day in front of his eyes. As if his entire existence had led up to this moment and this moment alone. Dean looked at the angel in confusion and swallowed.

“When Jack was dying,” Cas continued, “I… I made a deal. To save him.”

“You what?” Dean said, his brow furrowing

Cas could sense the hostility in Dean’s voice. Or was it fear? He continued nonetheless.

“The… the price was my life.”

Dean was shaken by this revelation.

“When I experienced a moment of true happiness The Empty would be summoned and it would take me forever.”

Dean was at a loss for words. This information had hit him like a ton of bricks. But Cas was so resolute. So calm.

“Why are you telling me this now?” Dean demanded

Cas looked away from Dean briefly. He took a step toward him and regained his composure, looking Dean directly in his calming green eyes.

“I always wondered,” Cas said, “Ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be. What… what my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer.”

He stared at Dean. He could only see Dean.

Dean stared back, mouth agape, wondering where he could be going with this.

“Because the one thing I want,”

Cas’ gaze faltered slightly.

“It’s something I know I can’t have.”

Dean was fully entranced. He lingered on every word that exited his best friend’s mouth as the angel began to smile.

“But I think I know,” Cas said, “I think I know now. Happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.”

Castiel stood tall. Proud. He felt an intense surge of emotion wash over him as his grin became plastered on his face.

“What are you talking about, man?” Dean asked

Castiel stepped closer to Dean, confident in himself and his feelings for the first time in his life.

“I know… I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken. You’re ‘daddy’s blunt instrument’,”

Dean’s face softened.

“And you think that hate and anger, that’s… that’s what drives you. That’s who you are. It’s not. And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love,”

Tears began to well up in Castiel’s eyes.

“You raise your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You’re the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know,”

A million thoughts ran through Dean Winchester’s head but only one was running through Castiel’s. The celestial being was overwhelmed with happiness. Tears racing down his stubbly cheeks as he pressed on.

“You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me,”

Cas let out a soft chuckle.

“Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, but I cared about the whole world… because of you. You changed me, Dean,” Cas continued through his tears

Dean continued looking on. He was beginning to understand where this was going.

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?” he asked, already knowing the answer

“Because it is,” Cas replied, his smile fading

Castiel knew this was the last he would ever see of his best friend, his partner, his soul mate. He knew that soon a tear would form in the universe’s most profound bond. He had to speak his truth before it was too late. He had to confess.

“I love you,” Castiel said

Silence filled the room. The tension between the two men was insurmountable. The truth was out and it could never go back in. They would never be able to return to their late night ponderings and mildly confusing interactions. The truth had been revealed.

Dean lifted a finger.

“Stop it, Cas,” he said firmly, “Stop it right now.”

Cas stepped back, losing his nerve. His eyes widened. Dean shook his head. He lowered his head toward the floor, unable to mask the tears that began to form in his eyes. He never wanted Cas to see him cry.

“Dean…” Cas said, softly

“Cas...,” Dean said, “Cas, I love you so damn much."

The hunter looked back up and, matching the angel in bravery, he stepped toward him. He wrapped his hand around Castiel’s head and pulled him in, kissing him passionately. His fingers ran through his best friend’s dark brown hair. Castiel gripped Dean’s left forearm as he showed his lover everything the pizza man had taught him.

As their lips separated, the two men stared at each other. Cas smiled and Dean chuckled, both finally feeling content for the first time in their lives. However, Cas knew what was coming next. He had made the deal. He knew there was no getting around it this time.

Castiel placed his forehead softly against Dean’s. The two closed their eyes as Cas whispered, “Goodbye Dean.”

Dean broke away from the embrace.

“No! No! Okay? No!” he said, “We’ve gotten out of worse scrapes than this before. Hell, we broke deals with the actual devil. There’s gotta be some way to fix this.”

“Dean…,” Cas said solemnly

Dean took Cas’ hands in his.

“We’re gonna fix this, you hear me?”

Cas humored him.

“And if we can’t?”

“And if we can’t… then I’m going with you,” Dean said, “I just got you. I’m not giving you up that easy. Wherever you go, I go.”

Castiel smiled.

“Have I mentioned I love you?” he asked

“Yeah, yeah I think you did mention something like that,” Dean laughed


End file.
